i feel pretty

oh so pretty

i feel pretty and witty and briiiiiight!

and i pity any girl who isn't me toniiiight!

i've cooled down

but i'm still not in a good place.

still not going to do anything rash, this feeling hurts enough.

why?

why does this have to happen... now?

UPDATE!!

and don't expect this one to be happy! so things down here haven't been very good lately, and by "haven't been very good" i mean shitty.

i don't want to write about it now, but just know that i'm really super fucking mad at life right now, but i'm not going to do anything stupid.

i was officially rebounded upon!

thanks for everything, i regret nothing, and i hope for a meeting in the future.

-jim

p.s.

fuck my life

hahaha

oh yeah! to laugh about this seems so absurd, but do not cry about it anymore. there are more important things to cry about. your little heart can't take it, so SMILE! and know that you're the bigger person. let her realize what she's leaving behind.

CRY! CRY! CRY! you're losing her. do all you can to get her back! if you don't try she'll leave and find some other, more attractive, douche bag to be with. you better shed tears! cause she's gone. ain't coming back. now you get to watch her be happy somewhere else! now doesn't that hurt? GOOD!

thus... my dilemma.

hahaha! isn't life shitty?

-jim

between houses...

i feel like i don't really live IN a house right now.

because

i'm going back and forth between my home in kennesaw and my house in columbus.

and really, when i read that last sentence again, it explains it all.

i feel like my home in kennesaw is my home, but i'm not spending enough time there for me to feel like i'm actually living there. and the home i'm living in columbus is just a roof.

i'm not saying that i don't enjoy living in columbus, but it just isn't home.

yet.

i really would like to find myself here in comlumbus and get an idea of what my identity is, because i feel like i've always been associated with other people and never just been me.

like back in high school, i was me. jim pharr.

but, in columbus i'm jim, jeremiah, and caroline.

again.

not saying this is a bad thing. i love them. the are the kindest people i know, but i'd like to be known as jim pharr. not as a group.

that's what i'm feeling right now as i plan to leave my HOUSE behind and go HOME for the weekend.

thanks for reading, whoever you are. hope you got something from this.

love,

jim

p.s.

general auditions are coming around next month. i don't know what i'm doing, but i think i'm going to find it soon. i can feel it.

p.p.s.

jason laiche is playing with me at Picasso's on the 30th of this month. drive to come see it, he's incredible. and i might bring back evan fricks who killed it the last time out. COME SEE ME!

out.

bad note

i kind of left you on one last time.

things are better.

i just want to say that my stomach was making so much noise just a few seconds ago that i had to turn on my music (currently playing Barabajagal by Donovan.)

some other things include:

1. me getting a "job" playing at Picasso's Pizza in downtown columbus. (nice gig, 4 hours of just me and my guitar gently weeping)
2. i've been reuniting with sunflower seeds. (i prefer ranch flavor, but regular is always a good choice.)
3. i cried a few nights ago and it was good. (i was watching Spring Awakening... i know, lame, but being a theatre major i kind of need to get in touch with my feelings every once and a while)
4. i like the swell season. (a ton)
5. i've been eating way to much bologna... (why is it spelled like that bo-lo-gna? not right. should be baloney)
6. i transcribed a guitar part for "Pure Imagination" from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. (one of my favorite movies)
7. this list is actually pretty fulfilling seeing as it makes me actually think about things i do.
8. i miss writing poetry. (i had a stint a few months back where it was flowing)
9. i've been taking a lot of picture lately with my dad's old Olympus OM-1 camera and i like it. (my buddies who are in the band Small Reactions are hiring me as their photographer and actually are paying me [i think])
10. i've put those pictures around my room, and it feels like home now. (i moved from my apartment in Pooper [Cougar] Village into a house near a park [Lakebottom], and it's perfect)
11. (nothing entered)
12. i miss home home... the people mostly. (they know who i mean)
13. aaron is probably going to be the only one who reads this, if that, so hey... i miss you. (not in a gay way)
14. i need some suggestions on what to spend my money on from playing at this pizza place. (something musical, i.e. an instrument or whatnot)

so...

that was fun.

maybe we'll keep this up.

love,
jim

done,

(post deleted on account of bitchassness)

September 13th, 2007

was the last time i posted anything. since then i have successfully closed a show and immediately opened another. this time i'm working backstage, taking on the role of the assisstant stage manager. so far it's been hurry up and do this so you can then sit for two hours. The Visit (the show i acted in) went really well, my friends got nominated for a scholarship and i'm really proud for them. now, i am busy working on a show called Fuddy Meers. it is so funny, a little vulgar at times, but then again what contemporary, comedic theatre now-a-days isn't? i also have a paper due in a week for my theatre history class, and i somehow swindled my way into writing it about a musician named Devendra Banhart (check him out, he's a ood folk artist). i am starting a new project with my friend Evan. we're writing songs and recording stuff, and seeing where it takes us. i know this is like the 18th band i'm in that i've blogged about, but i think i found someone who i enjoy playing music with and has the same drive and passion as i do. oh, and we need a name, so suggestions should follow.

-jim-

oh, i'm going back home the next two weekends to lead worship at FPC, so pray for focus and that our worship would be His delight.

SCT and other things...

so i'm siked that sammy carmike trio is back in the studio, and we have a website on the way. that's right, a website. i'm going home this weekend to sing at Keith's ordination, which is weird because i've been there since the beginning of his seminary, and now, not only is it over, but he's actually a pastor. on top of all that, he's having a baby girl (whom we think should be named Mint or Asparagus). oh well, that's it for now.

_jim_

well, update already

since my last post i have succesfully changed my monologue before auditions and landed the biggest role of my life to date. so, life's going well. we (fpc marietta) leave tomorrow for sharp top, and i couldn't be more excited. some mishaps has come up though. one of my fellow actors is sick. i personally do not know what this means as of right now, but we'll find out if we need to pick up and move on or just carry on as normal. big weekend this weekend.

my show at CSU's information:

Title: The Visit
Playwright: Friedrich Durrenmatt
SHOW DATES: Nov. 15-17 @ 7:30 PM and Nov. 18 @ 2:00 PM
Location: CSU's Theatre on the Park Mainstage

i play the mayor... i'm siked.

_jim_

so...

i've moved into my new apartment, and when i say new, i mean NEW. it still smells like caulking and the fridge actually keeps things cold! school has yet to start, and besides the fact that i have a pretty tough schedule, i think it's going to be fun. i'm taking a lot of theatre classes to (hopefully) hone my craft and make my way up the ladder in the department. speaking of which, auditions are thursday (tomorrow) and i just picked out a monologue, fun right? let's see how far I get without looking in the book.

"You want to know how low I've sunk? I didn't even speak to Edith. I made a phone call pretending to talk to her to scare the Edith and Karen in my head out of here... I tricked myself, i fell for it... the thing about going crazy is that it makes you incredibly smart, in a dumb sort of way. But I do feel like I'm loosing a grip on my life. As if I'm spiraling downward in diminishing circles like water being drained from a bathtub and sudden;y my big toe gets sucked in and I'm left screaming for my life... No. Not my life, my mother. Why, tell me why is it always your mother? It's never your father or your uncle or your second cousin from Detroit..."

there's more, but i don't know it quite yet. i don't even think the part i wrote down is correct, so a little prayer for some focus would be nice. other than that i guess some prayer that i could get back into the sming of things would be helpful as well.

that's it for now, hopefully i'll start posting more regularly.

_jim_

p.s.
some bands to listen to:

Feist
The Thrills
Zero 7
Elliott Smith
mewithoutYou
Justice
Fionn Regan

you will love those musician.

YO!

i love making pointeless movies for sharp top. it's a blast.

p.s.
sing in your car, it's freeing.

song...

last blog kinda set the scene for this song:

"Babe"

All the love we shared, you can have it back
'Cause now it don't mean jack to me anymore
Take back your pretty hair and your big green eyes
'Cause they have all but lost the love you used to have for me

(All of you)
I want all of you
(None of me)
But you want none of me
So, I guess I'll leave you alone

Make me out to be the victim
Make me out to be the one who's hurt (x2)

So dump your weight on him, 'cause it's rolled off my back
I hope he's got a knack for talking like the way we did
One day I'll move one, and you'll be in my past
Wishing that the "us" we had could've had a chance to last

(All of you)
I want all of you
(None of me)
But you want none of me
So, I guess I'll leave you alone

Make me out to be the victim
Make me out to be the one who's hurt (x2)

I'll never call you babe again, I won't even call you friend

(All of you)
I want all of you
(None of me)
But you want none of me
So, I guess I'll leave you alone

Make me out to be the victim
Make me out to be the one who's hurt (x2)

I want all of you
But you want none of me
----

Oh well, it's what I felt and now it's done.

jim[pharr]

i'm over it...

a bomb just dropped on me. she's with one of my best friends. i've just lost two great relationships.

Awesome Road Rules Video

The following is a video of a bet that started as a joke, but then quickly escalated to an all out leg-licking catastrophe. CAUTION: the following video does contain tongues and legs.

done.

so i'm back home for summer after the easiest hard class i have ever had to take. i say easy/hard because we had a crap load of work to do, but it was only for three weeks. i am so glad i got to take it now instead of later. i am still, however, one credit hour short of being a sophmore, lucky me right? oh well... i got my deposit back from campus housing and what else would i do with that money but buy music? i bought Dreamboat Annie - Heart and it is mindblowing. Ann Wilson sings like an angel. i also got The Village Sessions - John Mayer. it's not bad, it's acoustic, new John Mayer. also got me some E.L.O. (Electric Light Orchestra for the n00bz), and i'm SIKED about it. well, i like music.

jim[pharr]

-EDIT-
new Michael Bublè... get it.

worship

i don't realize how much i miss leading until i've had a long stint without it. i had one of the most freeing experiences leading tonight. it was progressive dinner and the seniors wanted alastair and i to lead. i was shocked that they wanted us because they've had some great leaders lately, but nontheless i was very honored. i might need to find a job doing this...

jim[pharr]

hotel

so i'm sitting in a hotel room waiting for class to start. i'm thinking what life would be like if this was how i was to live for most of my days. it's not bad, but it's not good. i would love to play music for a living, and i wouldn't mindliving out of suitcases in hotels. the only difference would be that there would be PEOPLE AROUND.

lonley

bored

stressed

jim[pharr]

movie

me and a couple of friends are writing a movie...

it's going to be good

a crime drama
with lots of action and suspense

it's going to be good

some of the songs that inspired it are as follows:

"Feelin' Good" - Michael Bublè (killer opening sequence)
"God's Gonna Cut You Down" - Johnny Cash
"Mad World" - Gary Jules (this song is going to play during a fight scene in slow motion)
"Sowing Season (Yeah)" - Brand New
"Welcome to the Black Parade" - My Chemical Romance
"Halloween" - Dave Matthews Band
"Don Gon Do It" - The Rapture
"Go-Go Gadget Gospel" - Gnarls Barkley
"Keeping the Blade" - Coheed & Cambria
"Matches" - The Format

so listen to that and you'll get the feeling of our movie.

jim[pharr].

...

all work and no play makes jim a dull boy

all work and no play makes jim a dull boy

all work and no play makes jim a dull boy

all work and no play makes jim a dull boy

all work and no play makes jim a dull boy

all work and no play makes jim a dull boy

all work and no play makes jim a dull boy

all work and no play makes jim a dull boy

all work and no play makes jim a dull boy

all work and no play makes jim a dull boy

all work and no play makes jim a dull boy

...

...

...

~jim[pharr]