i feel pretty

oh so pretty

i feel pretty and witty and briiiiiight!

and i pity any girl who isn't me toniiiight!

i've cooled down

but i'm still not in a good place.

still not going to do anything rash, this feeling hurts enough.

why?

why does this have to happen... now?

UPDATE!!

and don't expect this one to be happy! so things down here haven't been very good lately, and by "haven't been very good" i mean shitty.

i don't want to write about it now, but just know that i'm really super fucking mad at life right now, but i'm not going to do anything stupid.

i was officially rebounded upon!

thanks for everything, i regret nothing, and i hope for a meeting in the future.

-jim

p.s.

fuck my life

hahaha

oh yeah! to laugh about this seems so absurd, but do not cry about it anymore. there are more important things to cry about. your little heart can't take it, so SMILE! and know that you're the bigger person. let her realize what she's leaving behind.

CRY! CRY! CRY! you're losing her. do all you can to get her back! if you don't try she'll leave and find some other, more attractive, douche bag to be with. you better shed tears! cause she's gone. ain't coming back. now you get to watch her be happy somewhere else! now doesn't that hurt? GOOD!

thus... my dilemma.

hahaha! isn't life shitty?

-jim

between houses...

i feel like i don't really live IN a house right now.

because

i'm going back and forth between my home in kennesaw and my house in columbus.

and really, when i read that last sentence again, it explains it all.

i feel like my home in kennesaw is my home, but i'm not spending enough time there for me to feel like i'm actually living there. and the home i'm living in columbus is just a roof.

i'm not saying that i don't enjoy living in columbus, but it just isn't home.

yet.

i really would like to find myself here in comlumbus and get an idea of what my identity is, because i feel like i've always been associated with other people and never just been me.

like back in high school, i was me. jim pharr.

but, in columbus i'm jim, jeremiah, and caroline.

again.

not saying this is a bad thing. i love them. the are the kindest people i know, but i'd like to be known as jim pharr. not as a group.

that's what i'm feeling right now as i plan to leave my HOUSE behind and go HOME for the weekend.

thanks for reading, whoever you are. hope you got something from this.

love,

jim

p.s.

general auditions are coming around next month. i don't know what i'm doing, but i think i'm going to find it soon. i can feel it.

p.p.s.

jason laiche is playing with me at Picasso's on the 30th of this month. drive to come see it, he's incredible. and i might bring back evan fricks who killed it the last time out. COME SEE ME!

out.

bad note

i kind of left you on one last time.

things are better.

i just want to say that my stomach was making so much noise just a few seconds ago that i had to turn on my music (currently playing Barabajagal by Donovan.)

some other things include:

1. me getting a "job" playing at Picasso's Pizza in downtown columbus. (nice gig, 4 hours of just me and my guitar gently weeping)
2. i've been reuniting with sunflower seeds. (i prefer ranch flavor, but regular is always a good choice.)
3. i cried a few nights ago and it was good. (i was watching Spring Awakening... i know, lame, but being a theatre major i kind of need to get in touch with my feelings every once and a while)
4. i like the swell season. (a ton)
5. i've been eating way to much bologna... (why is it spelled like that bo-lo-gna? not right. should be baloney)
6. i transcribed a guitar part for "Pure Imagination" from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. (one of my favorite movies)
7. this list is actually pretty fulfilling seeing as it makes me actually think about things i do.
8. i miss writing poetry. (i had a stint a few months back where it was flowing)
9. i've been taking a lot of picture lately with my dad's old Olympus OM-1 camera and i like it. (my buddies who are in the band Small Reactions are hiring me as their photographer and actually are paying me [i think])
10. i've put those pictures around my room, and it feels like home now. (i moved from my apartment in Pooper [Cougar] Village into a house near a park [Lakebottom], and it's perfect)
11. (nothing entered)
12. i miss home home... the people mostly. (they know who i mean)
13. aaron is probably going to be the only one who reads this, if that, so hey... i miss you. (not in a gay way)
14. i need some suggestions on what to spend my money on from playing at this pizza place. (something musical, i.e. an instrument or whatnot)

so...

that was fun.

maybe we'll keep this up.

love,
jim

done,

(post deleted on account of bitchassness)